I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
