k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
