Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do vagina's smell?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
