i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
