entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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