This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
