i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
