the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
