Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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