bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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