Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
