happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
