The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
