you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
