I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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