Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
