i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
