Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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