He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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