Don't make out with my wife yet
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize