I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
