I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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