Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
