I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
