Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
