It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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