Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
