jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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