did you get engaged???
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
