cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
