My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I could make wine with my vomit
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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