You were right. It hurts to walk today.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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