it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
