I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
