Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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