why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
