No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
