i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
