so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
