he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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