I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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