I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
