I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Randomize
