Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
