I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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