This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
