so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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