arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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