Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
