I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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