I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
