Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
