It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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