Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do vagina's smell?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
