big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
