why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
