You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
