I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize