I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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