My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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