i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
